“Just why did you act so stupidly? You should leave it to me, you know. Let me deal with it.”
“What, so you could die alone miserably without me even finding out?”
“You could've just pushed me out of way.” He mumbled and Arthur fell silent.
“I don't know.” After a moment Arthur said, quietly. “It’s just quick and I don't have time thinking. I just... acted kind of instinctively.”
“I’m sorry.” Merlin said.
Arthur shook his head. “You have nothing to apologize for, Merlin. It’s my choice and me alone who take the consequences. And should it happen all over again, I wouldn’t hesitate for a second before doing the exactly same thing.”
Merlin stared at him, his throat tight. Before, he had never saw Arthur speak out his mind so openly, nor did he ever let anyone, including Merlin, to see his true heart and witness his vulnerability. Merlin didn’t doubt he’s the only one that could see Arthur like this and the thought makes his head spin.
“You don’t- don’t have to take it alone.” He said hoarsely, “The consequnces, I mean. I’m here for you and I’m not going to leave you.”
He thought he saw Arthur smile a little, but it disappeared immediately so it could just be his imagination. “Like I could ever get rid of you.” The king said.
*
“You leave me no choice, Emrys.”
“I can't tell him,” Merlin all but shouted, his voice hoarse and he’s at the brink of breaking down, “he'll hate me when he finds out!”
“I don't really think so.”
“You don't understand,” he said, “It's complicated.”
*
“You know I will protect him, or die trying.” He bit out, didn’t bother to control his rage. Only the druid seemed more amused.
“I know too well, Emrys, and I expect no less. You could die for him as you wish, but his soul would still be mine. He'll be mine.”
“He'a not yours,” He said, his magic bumping inside him like furious tides, his eyes glowing gold like fire, “And he never will.”
“It's not something that's up to you, despite all your power.” For a moment, Merlin saw the real pity in his eyes, but he just stood more taller, his magic leaking from his fingertip like a stream of light.
*
“Just why? Why would you do that for me?”
Arthur said nothing but Merlin already knew the answer. They both knew.
“Though you are the worst manservant in all of the five kingdoms, it's hard to find another one.”
“And though you mistreated me a lot, it’s hard to find another one.” He threw back, and Arthur actually laughed.
“Are you growing too attached to me?”
“Of course not.” He snapped, feeling his face flushed.
“I can understand. It's hard to find a master as good as me.” Arthur said, clearly enjoying his distress.
“Or as stupid and arrogant.”
*
“Had I not been cursed, would you keep it a secret forever?”
“I don't know. Maybe.” Merlin said sulkily. He murmured something and the flames melted into a blazing dragon, the Pendragon crest. He turned around, didn’t miss the awe in Arthur’s eyes. It’s something that never failed to make his heart jump faster.
“Well then. I think I still got something good out of there. It's not all that bad, you know, to be dying.” Arthur said, a moment later, when the dragon made of flames died out.
“I- I won let you die!” He croaked out. “There are so many things that you are yet to know.”
“So that's the only reason you save me?”
“Of course not, you huge idiot.” He said fiercely, “I won’t lose you. I promise, I will find a way to save you, or die trying.”
Arthur sighed rather sloppily, but said nothing to try to stop him this time.
*
“For my whole life, I loathed magic. It killed both my mother and my father, and it took my sister. I lost almost all my beloved ones to it, and I hated it, yes. But it brought me you. It brought me a friend who's in credibly loyal and caring, someone I could tend to when everyone else turned their back on me. A love and trust I had never thought myself deserve.”
“You deserve it more than anyone, Arthur.” Merlin said and despite everything, his voice cracked a little, “No one is more worthy for it than you.”
Arthur simply looked away and when he met Merlin’s eyes again, he looked a little sad.
“Sometimes I thought myself a lucky man, Merlin, for having you at my side. And for that, I thank magic.”
“Magic barely has anything to do with it.” Merlin all but whispers. “I-I chose to stay with you.”
“Thank YOU, then.” Arthur said.
*
“But there are certain changes await. For one, I’m going to lift the ban on magic.”
Merlin dropped the jug. It hit hard on the floor, water splashing everywhere.
“Clumsy as always, aren’t you, Merlin?”
Slowly, Merlin turned around, his face blanch and he now had difficulty keeping his mouth close, not that he bothered to try to.
“You- you can't be serious.”
“I am quite serious, actually.” Arthur said, in an amusing tone.
“But- but it’s law and it’s tradition. It had existed for more than twenty years….”
“It’s law and it’s tradition, yes, but the law can be changed and tradition doesn’t means right. Should I know earlier, I would have done it already, perhaps as soon as I was enthroned. But, well, fortunately now it’s not too late.”
“But your father—”
“I’m not my father, Merlin. I thought you know that better than me.”
Merlin nodded but still couldn’t form out anything. Arthur looked up at him, suddenly looking very serious.
“You have my word, Merlin. As long as I am king, you and your kins shall no longer have to live in fear. No one in this land shall harm you in whatever ways without getting severe punishments. I promise you, magic will no longer be seen as corrupting and evil and you have a place at my side, properly and proudly, just as you should always be.”
“Why?” Merlin asked. He drew a shaky breath, a huge lump in his throat. “I don’t need any kind of reward or honor, I did for you, not for…”
“For that we could discuss later because clearly what you did should be honored, in a great way perhaps. But now, I’ve just drafted a speech I’m going to deliver in today’s council, about magic and the changes I’m going to make. Perhaps you could have a look for me?”
“Of- of course.” Merlin nodded. But as he reached out for the parchment, his hand started shaking and he could no longer force back the tears that has been threatening to fall. He managed a weak smile at Arthur, wishing him to understand, as tears streaming down his cheeks. His vision blurred and he seemed to have forgotten how to breathe, when strong arms circled around him and brought him into a warm embrace.
Arthur sighed but said nothing like “such a girl, Merlin”, and that soothed Merlin’s heart in a way he could never admit. For a second, Arthur just held him in his arms, gently shaking him, as Merlin buried his face in Arthur’s shoulders, drawing in the feeling of pure comfort and safe and home and Arthur.
They parted after Merlin finally calm down, wiping his eyes with the back of him hand. When he looked at Arthur, he saw his king smiling rather fondly, which made his heart jump.
He went over the speech quite quickly, still can’t believe this was actually happening. He no longer had to stand in shadows and protect Arthur while worrying about his own life. For the first time in his life since he had come to Camelot, he could be himself, and let Arthur know him for who he really is, not the clumsy idiot he pretended to be.
His joy must have appeared on his face because beside him, Arthur said: “You should have told me earlier, Merlin. Camelot and I and everyone have owed you a proper thank for such a long time.”
“Told you that’s not what I seek.” He mumbled and Arthur nodded in agreement.
“True, and I didn’t do it because of that, really, though I couldn’t deny that I did it for you. But no, I did it because it’s the right thing to do, because no one, especially someone like you, should be sentenced to death for something they are born with. Now I am king, I couldn’t stand the thought that you living in fear because of some law I had been so blindly decided to carry on.”
“I did this, because you are my closet friend and also someone I care deeply, and I can’t support a law that makes you suffer.”
“Don’t blame yourself.” Merlin said, his voice choked. He thought he may be crying again. “You didn’t know.”
“Yes, but I really should have known.”
They were silent for several seconds, listening to the bristle of birds outside the windows.
“Also, now I need a new manservant.” Arthur said, clearly bemused.
That caught Merlin off. “You- you are sacking me.” He said dumbly and Arthur rolled his eyes.
“No, that means I’m offering you a promotion.”
“A promotion?”
“Of course. Once the law is settled, I’m making you the court sorcerer. I can’t quite say how gladly I am, Merlin, for your service is more like torment to me, you know.”
“Right.”Merlin said, but he gave in beaming like a huge idiot and for once, he really didn’t care.
Arthur stared him in a way that makes his eyes watering again so before that, he bowed his head and said: Thank you, Arthur, really. I- I don’t know how to thank you for all this. What you did is noble and kind and… Arthur, imagine how many druid kids you save. How many people who are now free….”
“And the most important, you.” Arthur said. Merlin had never heard him using such a gentle voice. So tender and gentle and caring and Merlin wanted to cling on him forever and make sure no one would ever hurt him. His king. His precious, dear Arthur.
“There’s someone who once told me a foretell. About a king and a sorcerer, two sides of the same coin, and the kingdom they created together.” He said softly, chuckling a little when seeing the surprise in Arthur’s eyes, “About the time they brought upon this land — the time of Albion. Never a day back in my life did I not believe that it’s true.”
He took a deep breath, his hand finding Arthur’s, clenching tightly. “I’m just so happy to see it, when it really comes.”
评论(9)
热度(6)